Here's a question for you: What do you wake up every morning for?
Fast-forward a few months: I am an MBA student, married and living in Los Angeles. It's quite interesting seeing as at the time of my last blog entry, I was single (engaged), employed and living in Cairo. Quite a transformation!
During managerial economics class the other day, we were discussing the concept of economic profit vs. normal profit. Somehow, this discussion reminded me of where I was and where I am now - my own normal vs. economic profit.
I feel alive again. It's not because I am out of Egypt, not because I am out here in the States. It's because I'm finally challenging myself. Exposed to these new challenges, it has dawned upon me that I have been residing at the far left of an "easy" bell curve instead of finding myself in the middle of a "tough" bell curve and then try to make it to the left. This very much echos some of the themes from my earlier blog entry about My Thoughts on Thoughts.
Back in 2004, when this whole journey started on a December night at Sherif Bishr's home, I didn't expect that I could make it here. I had built-in obstacles such a steep financial hurdle. For three years, I'd been juggling building a life and pursuing my dreams. The remarkable part is not that I'm at the gates of my dreams now. What's even more remarkable is what I found in my way: a person with whom I can share this dream along with the rest of my life.
So what's the point of all this? I would like to avoid the question of divinity in this whole matter, since every time I bring it up, side arguments ensue. Instead, I just want to say something lame but very true: it's less about what you achieve, more about what you try to achieve. It's what you try that makes you extraordinary (this message is specifically targeted to my friend who's worried because he's hit 24 without winning the Nobel prize).
Just another side point... I guess a lot of my coming blog entries will about my experiences with people during my time in LA. As a starter, I just want to confirm what I've been preaching all along to all those skeptics: people here are no different than people back home in Egypt. They have the same desires, needs, fears and aspirations.
At any rate, I have to stop here. I have some self-challenging to do. What are YOU going to do when you're done reading?
14 comments:
Well, I will think "What I wake up every morning for ?". What is the actual reason for getting into all this? Is it the kids ? The family ? parents ? the country ? the company ?
Adding to that question... What is success ? is it to continue challenging yourself ? contributing to world peace ? or getting the nobel prize ? or getting a new LCD TV that I wanna get :) ?
Take care...
Amr-
Remember our only long talk? Abandoned dreams, forgotten fantasies, and broken promises to oneself..
That represented the mood then:
http://nagia.blogspot.com/2007/08/lather-rinse-repeat.html
And now in a nutshell, i think i am doing it.. or maybe not.. Only time will tell.. Of course, lessa the ultimate dream ("I want to teach", "I want to build ships", "I want to bake") bass at least i took the leap.. Now, after 5 years of working, i am starting over as a fresh graduate.. and it feels good to be learning again, altho it hurts a little (no, a LOT!) to give up on one's deep-rooted habits and stop the "this is not the way i used to do it" attitude..
Enough self-centered talk, I really respect your courage for taking the risk you took.. Eventually inshallah it will pay off.. and well, you'd have never known unless you tried!
Good luck to you and da wife in your endeavors..
Cheers,
N.
And answering your q :)
What do I wake up for? Mainly, it is "reda" or contentment.. the feeling that something you do touches people's lives.. be it family, friends, co-workers, or even some remote person whom you'd never know!
maybe waking up everyday to discover and fiddle with what you have been 'ashamed' of in urself; maybe to make peace with the 'deserted' lonely places that were left discarded for years out of shame or immaturity?
it is endless question, and i guess it differs from one to another.
Amr basha,
It is good to hear that you are doing well. I wish you all the best in your life.
I still recall your quote" it's less about what you achieve, more about what you try to achieve". I am now waiting for the Stanford GSB reply. I hope I will be in, even if not, I would have enjoyed and benefited from the experience.
Dear Amr,
i am not so sure if you really read those comments or not .. however, it has been long time since i last visited your page .. and i have only on comment to say ..
it is part of a speech from "any given Sunday" the movie
"You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff."
it seems that i started to miss you ya wad .. :)
What do I wake up every morning for?...Hope that things might change to exactly how I want them to be!!
My Regards to you and Dalia ;)
Badr-
I don't know what to say. I guess all of these answers would work in some context. But do I even know that I have a permanent answer to that question for myself? All I know is that whatever it is that was happening, it wasn't enough for me... so here I am.
What I can tell you though is what is definitely a WRONG answer for me. I will never invest time to bring structure to a life that I know is inherently ambiguous. If my life turns into a monotone, I will not want to wake up for the next day!
So, again, here I am
nag-
I certainly remember our long talk. I'm so glad you're on your way... I hope you get to the baking part one day!
I have to be honest about risk.. I manage risk pretty well. It's that old idea of diverification - eggs in several baskets. The obstacles related to being here were less about risk and more about, well, that it didn't seem very possible in 2004 :)
haal-
Your usual self :)
I guess we all have those discarded parts of our being. The real question is, what frame of mind would make THAT what one would wake up to everyday? It differs from one person to another, in both the personality and experience context.
I can discard memories... but not parts of me. I carry those with me in every living moment
Abdallah-
The most important thing to remember is that you did it. No matter what happens, you have no regrets.
I wish you the best... I believe you will hear great news soon!
Bassem-
Yes I read the comments. I miss you all too...
It's so strange how I didn't stay at OMS for that long, but nevertheless managed to be personally attached to some people there. It's just a great bunch!
Say hi to Samer, Kabeel and Nazz!
And wish me plenty of luck!
Rania-
That's a moving target, isn't it?
I mean, how one wants things to be... doesn't that change?
You have to be very careful here. If you put in an effort to make things "the way you want them to be", then you better be sure of it, or you have to not care about the outcome. In my "ambiguous life" context, I am not sure if this is even possible. Personally, I live the moment (which includes planning for the future)... I worry less about how things should be or how they will be.
Dear Amr,
I have not had the time to put my comments here. You know well that I was a bit preoccupied. Since I have some free time right now, let me say a few words for you and everyone.
Excellence to me is not living life for oneself alone. It's about having time to consider how my day to day life is having an effect on the greater good. I refuse the idea that I live simply to eat, drink, marry, have a career (no matter how successful), and then eventually die. Because life is short, we should never lose focus of what really matters. If all the baggage we are taking with us to the next life is a collection of our deeds, then material matters become a secondary desire. A smile of Khalid or Hassan, the two children patients I most often talked to you about), is worth more than 100,000,000 dollars.
Lastly, I truly believe that the good of this earth will only come when we live our lives with the hearts of children, and minds of men. I believe that the evil of this world lies in people living it the other way (minds of children, hearts of men). The greatest sign of success to me in life is when I find myself living up to this ideal.
HEART OF A CHILD, MIND OF A MAN
Your Bro Mo...
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